i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
