I feel great
I just peed on a car
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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