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• (702): View more from Nevada

  yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.

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• (916): View more from California

  I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.

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• (707): View more from California

  I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.

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