where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
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Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
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I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If I die, sorry about rent.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.