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i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
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