yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
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My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
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I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.