Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?

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  (917): you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom? http://tfl.nu/36az
  Replies (238) Good night (4979) Bad night (1255)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.

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  (631): Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher. http://tfl.nu/6w08
  Replies (9) Good night (1062) Bad night (3766)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes

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  (516): Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes http://tfl.nu/edsk
  Replies (31) Good night (9236) Bad night (812)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!

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  (307): When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"! http://tfl.nu/t4t6
  Replies (15) Good night (3826) Bad night (888)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.

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  (912): we bribed her with croutons and jello shots. http://tfl.nu/71j8
  Replies (4) Good night (3231) Bad night (747)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.

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  (954): Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it. http://tfl.nu/slzd
  Replies (19) Good night (1547) Bad night (3894)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...

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  (203): Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store... http://tfl.nu/b4g4
  Replies (4) Good night (2050) Bad night (798)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt

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  (425): I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt http://tfl.nu/d0wp
  Replies (1) Good night (1609) Bad night (565)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.

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  (731): We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage. http://tfl.nu/1q8x
  Replies (5) Good night (2814) Bad night (461)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.

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  (940): Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits. http://tfl.nu/jw0d
  Replies (10) Good night (879) Bad night (337)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams

  (226): View more from Ontario

  In case that's what u were picturing

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  (226): I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams (226): In case that's what u were picturing http://tfl.nu/1xa1
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (250)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome

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  (713): I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/qeoi
  Replies (7) Good night (1129) Bad night (215)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.

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  (508): If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it. http://tfl.nu/htl7
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (197)
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  (818): View more from California

  Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"

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  (818): Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww" http://tfl.nu/3o12
  Replies (0) Good night (328) Bad night (505)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.

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  (740): Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/rt7w
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (175)

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