you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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