I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
