mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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