sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
