hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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