dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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