in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
