In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
