how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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