So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
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I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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