No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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