Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize