Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
