i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
