literally had 100 drinks last night.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
