My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
