is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
