whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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