It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
