I want to stick my p in your. b.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
