He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
