Plan B is the new Plan A
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
