no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize