I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
