i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
