This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
