i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
