I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
