Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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