Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
