9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Girls should come with a carfax report
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
