Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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