so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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