yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I am one with the molecules
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
