Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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