Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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