I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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