Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
