Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
