I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
