He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
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I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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