Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
