so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
