You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
