out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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