i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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