I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
