hell yes lets make some ravioli
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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