I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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