Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i need some magic done to my vagina
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
