Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
