Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
