My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Enjoy the penises
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
