He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Then you guys just all showered together...?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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