so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
