All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
