have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
